Wednesday, May 5, 2021

Faith Struggles

            Ever since I was saved in 1989, I’ve had a problem with a couple scriptures that talk about becoming less of ourselves and more like Jesus: taking up our cross and following him. (Matthew 10:38 and 16:24; Luke 9:23 and 14:27.)

            I felt like I had to give up all my dreams, stop using my talents and gifts, and turn into a replica of Jesus. Why would God give me those dreams, talents, and gifts if He expected me to lay them down and become just like Jesus?

            I had struggled with this for so long that I just quit doing anything for fear of doing the wrong thing: something that wasn’t becoming like Jesus. That just served to make my anxiety over the whole idea worse, because now I wasn’t doing anything to serve God. I wasn’t becoming like Jesus; I wasn’t being myself either. I was hiding everything about myself, including my faith, to keep from doing the wrong thing - which was exactly the wrong thing to do.

            Fast forward a bunch of years in which I worked as a church secretary, taught kids on Wednesday nights, ran errands for members, worked on projects with members and other staff. When I left that job, I felt like my whole life ended. I never really felt like I was serving God, until I wasn’t. I had been serving God by serving the people of His Church. I just didn’t see it.

            Then one day while reading a devotional, I came across a verse. 1 John 4:8, of which the last line is…. God is Love.  A light went on in my heart. That’s it! God is love! Can it get any simpler than that?

            Jesus wasn’t telling us to literally turn into him but to follow what he does, and Jesus loves. He is the personification of the Love of God. He came to serve us by giving up his physical life for our salvation. That is a cross we no longer carry. The cross we are now required to carry is turning from everything that is not love and striving to become the same Love that Jesus demonstrated for us. 


God is love!

 He wants to empty us

 of all that is not love

so He can fill us with Himself!

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